The Present
by PrussianAwesomeness
Summary: Deanon from the Kink Meme - Text: "He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick." Alfred is picked up from the airport by his brother's boyfriend. FrUK AU


**The Present **

Alfred tapped his foot impatiently as he watched the names of the planes that had just arrived show up on that board thing. Where _was_ Francis? It had already been a half hour since his plane had landed in New Orleans and Francis was still a no-show. He wasn't even supposed to be _in_ New Orleans; his older brother, Arthur, was supposed to fly to New Orleans to pick up some of his things that he'd left behind when he went to Harvard, but somehow he managed to convince Alfred [who had been visiting his friend Kiku at the campus] to fly back home and get them for him while he studied for a Lit exam or something.

Just then, his iPhone buzzed. Alfred jumped slightly and pulled it out of his pocket; it was a text from his twin brother, Matthew.

_From: Matt  
>Message: u here yet?<em>

_From: Hero  
>Message: ya. i still cnt believe artie convincd me to get his shit 4 him<em>

_From: Matt  
>Message: im not surprised. he used hamburgers<em>

_From: Hero  
>Message: its my kryptonite <em>

Alfred looked up again, hoping to see Francis. No such luck. But wait – what if while he was texting Matt Francis came but couldn't find him? What if Francis was already wandering around, looking for him?

"Excuse me," Alfred said, poking the man beside him. The man, a short but older Asian man, turned to look at him.

"Yes?" the man asked, a hint of an accent in his voice. Maybe he was Chinese or something.

"Did you see a man with blonde hair and stubble come through those doors?" Alfred asked, pointing to the sliding doors not too far away from them.

"No. Have you seen if the Air France has arrived yet? I'm waiting for my cousin; she is coming to visit from France," the man informed him.

"No, I haven't but that's cool – where are they coming from?" Alfred asked cheerfully, Francis momentarily forgotten.

"...France. But she was originally from Vietnam," the man answered.

"So she's Chinese!" Alfred said. The man stared at him.

"I just said she was from Vietnam," the man told him.

"But isn't that a city in China?" Alfred asked, confused. The man stared at him again before shaking his head and returning back to his newspaper. Well, _that_ was certainly weird. His iPhone buzzed again.

_From: Matt  
>Message: francis still not there yet?<em>

_From: Hero  
>Message: NO. ugh last time i ever help artie out<em>

_From: Matt  
>Message: oh come on, he's our bro <em>

_From: Hero  
>Message: doesnt mean he isnt a dick<em>

Alfred looked up, scanning the crowds of people again. Still no sign of Francis.

_From: Hero  
>Message: ur a dick<em>

_From: Arthur  
>Message: thank you?<em>

_From: Hero  
>Message: WEAR IS UR BF? <em>

_From: Arthur  
>Message: Where* and how am I supposed to know where the stupid frog is? He hasn't picked you up yet?<em>

_From: Hero  
>Message: NO. U shuld be lucky im such a nice bro<em>

_From: Arthur  
>Message: Nice is an exaggeration. <em>

_From: Hero  
>Message: bitch. <em>

Alfred frowned. He needed to get something to eat; he was starving. He turned to the man sitting beside him and poked the man in the arm.

"Yes?" the man asked expectantly.

"Would you like me to buy you a donut?" Alfred asked innocently. The man blinked at him.

"Why are you offering?" the man asked.

"Because I'm broke and I'm hungry so I figure if I get you a donut I can get one for me too," Alfred replied.

"So you're basically asking to borrow money from me," the man stated.

"That sounds correct," Alfred said, nodding. The man sighed, pulling a bill out of his pocket.

"Here," the man said, handing it to him. Alfred beamed and took it from the man, running off to buy a donut. Alfred wondered briefly if the man expected him to pay him back but threw the notion aside with a laugh.

Two donuts later Alfred was sitting back beside the man [whose name he found out was Yao] and Francis was _still_ not there.

"Where _is_ he?" Alfred muttered to himself, unlocking his iPhone to play some Angry Birds while he waited.

"You were looking for a blonde man with stubble, yes?" Yao asked just as Alfred started to play. Alfred paused the game and glanced at Yao.

"Yeah, I was," Alfred replied.

"Is that him over there?" Yao asked, pointing. Alfred looked up. Sure enough, wearing a rather long trench coat was Francis, looking around for him.

"Yes! HEY FRANCIS – FRANNY! OVER HERE!" Alfred shouted, leaping to his feet and waving frantically.

Francis turned his head to the sound of Alfred's voice and blinked, looking horrified. Alfred wondered why; maybe it was because he had grown so much or something. Or maybe Francis was just being melodramatic as usual.

"Nice talking to you, Yao!" Alfred said over his shoulder as he grabbed his one lone suitcase and ran towards Francis.

"Bonjour Alfred," Francis said, looking around Alfred questioningly.

"Took you a while to get here," Alfred accused.

"There was traffic," Francis answered absently. "...isn't your brother here?" he asked.

"Artie? Didn't he tell you – he's not coming 'cause he has to study for an exam," Alfred told him. Francis rolled his eyes.

"It's so like him to change plans last minute and forget to tell me," Francis said. He sniffed. "And I got dressed up for him and everything."

"You did?" Alfred asked curiously, staring at the trench coat skeptically. Francis' legs seemed bare [and hairy]; maybe he was wearing a dress or something. Alfred laughed; he'd love to see that. "I wanna see!" he whined.

"No you don't," Francis said quickly, side-stepping away from Alfred. "Or, you could, if you wanted to," Francis added thoughtfully.

"Then lemme see!" Alfred replied childishly, grabbing at Francis's coat and pulling the buttons off quickly before Francis could stop him.

Alfred stared.

There was no dress under that coat.

There was no...anything, really.

"ARGH MY EYES!" Alfred howled, falling to his feet, turning away from Francis and clutching his eyes. Francis quickly covered up as people began to stare at them. "MY BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES – RUINED!"

"Shut up," Francis said, kicking Alfred lightly, sounding more offended that Alfred seemed scarred from looking at his naked body than of being embarrassed in a public place.

"IS THIS WHAT MY BROTHER LOVES? I ALWAYS KNEW HE HAD WEIRD TASTE," Alfred continued to howl. Francis looked around quickly and grabbing Alfred's suitcase, took Alfred by the arm and began to drag him out of the airport.

"Get in the car," Francis said sternly, pointing to the passenger's seat.

"I'd rather sit in the back, away from you," Alfred sniffed, still wiping at his eyes. Francis sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Fine," Francis agreed, sliding into the driver's seat. Alfred sat delicately in the backseat; now that he knew Francis pulled stunts like this with Arthur, who _knows_ what he's done in this car. Ick. Times a million.

The drive to Alfred's house was silent.

Until Alfred decided to break it.

"So...green ribbon, huh?" Alfred said casually. Francis stared at him from the rear-view mirror.

"Oui," Francis replied, still sounding annoyed. It was evident that Francis hadn't forgiven Alfred yet for looking so traumatized at seeing Francis' naked body.

"I was expecting pink or something," Alfred added.

"Green is Arthur's favourite colour," Francis answered.

"Oh," Alfred said. "I didn't know that."

"Well you do now," Francis replied.

There was a silence again.

_From: Hero  
>Message: bro i am never doing u a favor ever again<em>

_From: Arthur  
>Message: The frog hasn't arrived yet?<em>

_From: Hero  
>Message: oh he did. <em>

_From: Arthur  
>Message: Then what's the problem?<em>

_From: Hero  
>Message: <em>_He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick._

_From: Arthur  
>Message: ...oh God. <em>

_From: Hero  
>Message: ur bf is hairy. i think i need therapy <em>

_From: Arthur  
>Message: I think I should kill Francis<em>

_From: Hero  
>Message: u shuld. Just make him put some clothes on first. <em>

The End.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The request was from TextsFromLastNight - _He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick _was the text. **

**Review?**


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